It’s Hump Day, although it feels more like a mountain! Don’t you just HATE slow work weeks?
In today’s story, the challenge was: every sentence contains a unique word that begins and ends with the letter E. This story may have been subconsciously influenced by my feeling like I deserve an Employee of the Year award for making such a smooth transition back to work after a two-week vacation. Just a slight possibility. 😉
I’ve been on the edge of my seat all morning. When I start to feel antsy I do that inhale exhale routine my friend Manny taught me. Any minute now they should be sending out an e-mail about the Employee of the Year. The excitement causes my nerves to explode one by one.
No one else in the office seems to have reached my level of anticipation. It must be that everyone already knows I’m going to get the award and they don’t stand a chance. I can’t stop staring at my screen, willing that little envelope icon to materialize. Then the celebration will ensue. The whole office will file into the break room for cake, and I’ll stay behind so I can make a grand entrance with all eyes on me. The CEO will probably give me a certificate and if I’m lucky, even one of those expensive pens all the executives have. I’ll practically become office royalty within the blink of an eye.
After the cake and the cheering, Mr. Earle will discretely tell me about my raise. I’ll stop by the travel agency on the way home and plan my trip to Europe. When I pull into my driveway, little old Eve next door will be weeding her garden and I’ll tell her I’m finally someone important. I’ve always liked Eve so I might even buy her an expensive flower pot with my next paycheck. My other neighbors enrage me with their loud backyard get-togethers and animals that poop on my lawn, but not Eve.
The IT man comes by to examine my computer after I reported a glitch two weeks ago. I make up the excuse that I’m in the middle of running a report and I’ll need him to come back later. I even show him one of my reports as an example so it’s more believable. By now my blood pressure can’t elevate any further than it already has.
Just a minute or two more; I won’t have to endure the wait much longer. The HR executive said she’d send out the e-mail by three o’clock. I’m finally going to emerge as a real somebody. I’ll be enviable by all of these other losers who think I’m just the reports guy. Yes, today is my endgame.